My Top 11 Tracks that marked 2011

Sofie – My Final Glass Of Whiskey in 2011
Marketing & Business Development Manager


People often say in life, go C.Y.O.A “choose your own adventures” (Hearts Revolution) and the battles you choose to fight because Come Monday Night (God Help the Girl) each week, what is often left is the aftertaste of that last glass of whiskey or the hurt from the weekends’ lost loves. Why raise the Flag of Hate (Kreator) or be Hungry for the Power (Azari & III) when really what goes down you can see in my EYES (Kaskade feat. Mindy Gledhill) if you looked hard enough.

It could be time to pick up the Viol (Gesaffelstein) once more, where a flat or a sharp, a beat or a rhythm could change the world and music is all that matters, where each night might be the last, and maybe i will be Lost and Found (Taken by Trees) again.

What you Know (Two Door Cinema Club) is what you choose to see. Perception’s a bitch baby, so i choose to remain Invisible (Skylar Grey) till the time of The Golden Age (The Asteroids Galaxy Tours). But for now please Give Me Everything Tonight (Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, Nayer), to live and let love, love and let live.

Taken from www.zoukclub.com/blog

"past" me now...

So after more than a year, i met up with Nigel for dinner, also to pass him his christmas present which i conveniently forgot to bring with me. i can understand why we could have stayed together, we are extremely comfortable hanging out, talking and there's always things to talk about. And i know that he genuinely cares for me.

But, i need to be in love, to feel like i'm standing in the midst of rainbows, flying unicorns, fluffy clouds in the shape of hearts & snowflakes. This is why to me, it didn't work out.

Life has the funniest way of working itself out. Love, i'm not too sure.

Crazy Christmas Chaos xx

I am finally making some effort with my camera!

So this year, i did a terrible thing, i only went Christmas shopping after Christmas,i.e. Boxing Day. And really, it's not that i didn't put more thought into planning, i just honestly had a lack of time. HONEST TRUTH.

So for all the shopping i had to do, i also had to eat and eat and eat.

Imperial at ION's BBQ meats- always sells out!

Cheong Fan with 4 different fillings- nomnom

TWG tea time & we spotted lovely couple Annabel & Darius!

Annabel, Me, Jenn & Cheryl

Amidst all the eating, i completed all my shopping =) It was a real feat, since we started out at 1030am. Mission accomplished, presents all given with love to all the people that mattered.

xx

this is me. simply.

i like you a lot.
i remember the first time i realise i liked you. i always thought you were cute.
my type of guy. then i actually liked you more after our many morning long chats.
i remember all our conversations if i was sometimes a bit tipsy so when you said that you don't remember our conversations, i felt my heart being stabbed, like a million times.


but i guess it doesn't really matter. i just like you. i will like you for a long time.
i like the way you smile, the way you DJ in the completely serious mode, i like the fact that you somehow live in your own bubble, yet you seem to understand a lot more than you appear to. i like it that you look out for me, in your own way. i like you because you always play my song for me. i like it when you start talking and talking and i can just sit and listen.

i like it the most when you hold my hand because i always feel like then, there is nothing in the world that matters because you will take care of me.

So i think it really doesn't matter that you keep breaking my heart. because i just like you.

and the whole wide world will say it is dumb but really, i don't care anymore. i like you and this is enough for me. 

and the tears shall fall like the morning dew

i admit i'm the laziest person when it comes to pictures. i will make more effort to take more pictures using my honest to goodness Canon G-12. And i shall not be so emo.

ZoukOut was once again for me, amazing. My 6th ZoukOut, and one to remember for a long time to come. Last year was dancing into the sunrise with A. This year, not that it was planned for, it was sunrise set with G. I can't say how grateful i am and how he is really my happy pill.

But, it ain't that simple. I shall blog again soon with more details. The deadline i have given to myself is 31 Dec 2011.

I will also post more pictures soon. Promise xoxo

and it continues to hurt

i had quite a long FB chat with Christy today. And she says i'm spot on about how she sees herself in her troubled relationship. I'm an expert at giving advise to others, but when it comes to myself, i throw all of it out the window. i should take it and completely apply it to myself.

"everyone says, but you are Sofie Chandra, you can choose anyone you want, you are amazing the way you are, and you deserve way better than what you put yourself through.

but then i say, that's not the point, i love him and i want to do these things for him, so that is all that matters. but in the process we keep loving ourselves less. giving in and giving in and then suddenly he seems so far away and I ask yourself why why cos i already keep giving. and to me he is the world, and he deserves all of me and all that I can give.

so it doesn't matter what people say. whatever I can take, I just take, even the smallest things. and the tiniest things that he does means so much, and I keep hanging on to it. every single word, every single action.

but somehow the more I try to hang on, the further he seems to go away from me. OR if I try to walk away he suddenly pulls me back, then I go back to the same cycle again."

And i know i'm finding every single excuse possible to justify his actions or rather non-actions. Maybe he's busy, maybe he just didn't have the time.

But i think he knows, he doesn't want me.
Simply. Put.

I want to die. dig a hole & just sit inside & cry mountains.

it feels like a break up

Suddenly he stopped asking me to dinner. and stopped trying to see me when he comes to the club.

I don't quite understand and i'm extremely hurt. It's as if i don't matter at all and the past few months have meant nothing. The morning talks, the breakfasts, nothing means anything. It never meant anything and never will.

When it comes to love, there is no such thing as pride. Maybe that's why i always give and give and give until there is no give back and it breaks me, rips me apart and takes me to a place i hate. It eats me up inside and i tell myself: no i will never allow this happen to me ever again, but time and again i allow it.

I don't blame him but myself because i let this happen. But i'm hurting and i just want to cry but i can't.

why must it be so hard

i always tell myself to have zero expectations, because when i expect nothing, anything at all that follows will make me happy. I try also to live on the basic and very simple principle of living each day to be happy. But honestly, the human spirit , heart and state was never built so simply. That's the difference between a human and a plant. We are DNA-ed to be complicated. Society, our communities and our world has never allowed us to be simple, satisfied or simply contented.

It is the simple reason why there is greed and competition, why there is hatred and the lack of integrity. It is also why love is not simple. Zero expectation never happens. Simple because with love comes sharing, commitment and with all that comes expectations. In all the complications, the equation of it is very simple. When i try as i might to analyse it, break it down and think through every single small detail, i feel my brain on the verge of exploding, and my heart in doubt.

why must it be so hard? we like each other, no?

Of colours, clashes and commotions

C

L.AUNCHED XOXO

SO we finally launched Hungover Sundays FB page on thursday night. I will never forget that moment when we sat side by side in the tiny makeshift office, and we clicked PUBLISH. And then it continued on to try to hit the first 100 "likes".

And when we started going crazy, screaming away like little girls on a treasure hunt having just found strawberry coated chocolate candy floss and seeing fairies fly by. This is how it should always be. Always exciting, always on that adrenaline rush and exaggeratingly high.

It's going to be a long road ahead, but it feels like a journey that will bring us to the other end of the rainbow. No one said it was going to be easy, but let's make difficult amazing. xx

www.facebook.com/hungoversundays

Now, patiently waiting for the actual launch.

h.e.l.l.o there gorgeous

i haven't blogged in ages. feeling a bit lazy and not being able to move on a sunday. post zouk. post massive drinking. it has been pretty eventful, life remains to be truly unpredictable, ironically cruel yet fabulously beautiful.

i love my job, i love my team, i love HS, i love my car, i love a lot of my life. i feel blessed and today i give thanks.

i'm really looking forward to the launch of Hungover Sundays. got a really good feeling about it, in my bones. it's going to work. it keeps me going. it remains to be my hope and motivation.

and i feel i'm truly blessed to have made such wonderful friends.

so this sunday post is dedicated to all the people who have been more than amazing, more than caring and more than fabulous.

Dawn. Daph. Sam. Ivan. Hong. Ghetto. Steven. Byden. Nat. Yi Fang. Hazel. Karl. Errol. Mari. Eve. Min. Ken. Ju. Kovit. Isabel. Nigel. Jenn. Cheryl. Cheryl Ann. Sabrina. Becca. Cel. Kimberly. Laura. Amanda. Sammy. Jade. Jaslene.

Thank you for your love, for all that each of you have been to me and for who you are as individuals. If my world didn't have any of you, i wouldn't have a world in which i am capable to love,motivated to live in or inspired to inspire.

Who i am today. Where i am today. How i am today. is only because of each of you.

xx love love.

i love you but you don't love me.

the pains of being pure at heart

in my honest opinion

In my extremely honest opinion, you feel right to me.
like sour and apple or
jelly and tots or
chocolate and wafer or
teh and salem.

#justsaying.

If you only knew how in my world i see us as perfection in this fucked up imperfect world.
But because you are too precious, i have to let you go.

My heart hurts.

FACE IT SUCK IT UP

when i wonder where you are, i tell myself you are with her.

you are my u.n.i.v.e.r.s.e

my sunshine xx

of prints and pimps

new kicks! by ASH

IMPULSE BUY. I SWEAR. BUT I LOVE IT. $288 POORER.

SPECIAL IS THE NEW LIKE

i realise the complications of the matter already.
i keep my heart for him.

it's the reason why i leave certain days a bit more flexible so that i can grab those moments to offer a ride or say hello or catch a glimpse or give a lollipop or say a word or have that smile. and because of that, i know that i push other people away. it's not that i'm trying to find a husband tomorrow, but if he cannot give me his heart, logically he cannot have mine. so that, i can then possibly open my heart to others.

but since when are matters of the heart logical. all it takes is just one text or a smile and he's got me.

to set the record straight, it's not that i'm a heartless bitch and i never considered or thought of how she would feel or hurt. but the fact remains that we do feel for each other. and if i have to keep wondering and feeling bad and wondering even more, i will kill myself. so yes i feel bad, that's why i posted that i would let him go because his happiness would mean so much more to me. but other days i just detach myself from it so that i don't think about her.

if he is hurting because she is hurting and the hurting is caused by my existence... then letting him go because he is too previous is the only way to go.

YOU'RE AMAZING AND I BELIEVE I LOVE YOU. BUT I'M NOT WAITING FOREVER. SO IF YOU WANT ME IN YOUR LIFE, TELL ME PLEASE BEFORE I GIVE UP ON YOU AND MOVE ON.

M.A.G.I.C

with him, it always only takes the smallest things to make me happy.
it's probably the reason why everything else though so fucked up is bearable and tolerable.
when i woke up this morning, and i read the messages, it was one of the nicest feelings ever. it's that unexplainable simplicity, that makes me glow all over and feel so happy.

and, i just had to restart my phone and i lost all the messages...

I DECIDED TO LET HIM GO BECAUSE HE'S TOO PRECIOUS.
AND ALL I WANT IS FOR HIM TO BE HAPPY.

hungover and in l.o.v.e

Here are some sneak peeks on our last Hungover Sundays shoot! xx

you are my u.n.i.v.e.r.s.e

it's funny how things pan out. it's like tomorrow who will you love? or what will you hate?
i spent the whole of today at ivanho harlim's studio, we are doing a collaboration with Dr. Martens' #First and Forever campaign as part of our 20th Anniversary tie ups.
everyone has their own story. and today i found myself inspired and touched by the simple gestures of the individuals we had chosen to work with us on this project.

Dr. Martens #FirstandForever campaign 2011

it also served as a reminder to me as to why i love zouk so much. why i have given all of myself to this institution that has now become more than a brand, a lifestyle and a passion for many including myself. why every small thing matters. why it means this much to me.

ZOUK is my first love and also the reason some days i hurt so much because i care too much. 

my heart is in a state of confusion. i believe i'm emotionally in distress. because the person that i like very much, loves another. maybe likes me, but im unsure. i can't really talk about it neither can i do anything about it. it seriously kind of sucks.


i don't wish to awaken each day and wonder if i can love this person because this person makes my heart skip that extra beat, makes me smile even on my worst days. yet he is not mine and maybe will never be.

i hate myself for trying to want something so bad when it can never be mine.

tomorrow maybe i can love you.

if we can't have tomorrow...

=)