i realise the complications of the matter already.
i keep my heart for him.
it's the reason why i leave certain days a bit more flexible so that i can grab those moments to offer a ride or say hello or catch a glimpse or give a lollipop or say a word or have that smile. and because of that, i know that i push other people away. it's not that i'm trying to find a husband tomorrow, but if he cannot give me his heart, logically he cannot have mine. so that, i can then possibly open my heart to others.
but since when are matters of the heart logical. all it takes is just one text or a smile and he's got me.
to set the record straight, it's not that i'm a heartless bitch and i never considered or thought of how she would feel or hurt. but the fact remains that we do feel for each other. and if i have to keep wondering and feeling bad and wondering even more, i will kill myself. so yes i feel bad, that's why i posted that i would let him go because his happiness would mean so much more to me. but other days i just detach myself from it so that i don't think about her.
if he is hurting because she is hurting and the hurting is caused by my existence... then letting him go because he is too previous is the only way to go.
YOU'RE AMAZING AND I BELIEVE I LOVE YOU. BUT I'M NOT WAITING FOREVER. SO IF YOU WANT ME IN YOUR LIFE, TELL ME PLEASE BEFORE I GIVE UP ON YOU AND MOVE ON.
i keep my heart for him.
it's the reason why i leave certain days a bit more flexible so that i can grab those moments to offer a ride or say hello or catch a glimpse or give a lollipop or say a word or have that smile. and because of that, i know that i push other people away. it's not that i'm trying to find a husband tomorrow, but if he cannot give me his heart, logically he cannot have mine. so that, i can then possibly open my heart to others.
but since when are matters of the heart logical. all it takes is just one text or a smile and he's got me.
to set the record straight, it's not that i'm a heartless bitch and i never considered or thought of how she would feel or hurt. but the fact remains that we do feel for each other. and if i have to keep wondering and feeling bad and wondering even more, i will kill myself. so yes i feel bad, that's why i posted that i would let him go because his happiness would mean so much more to me. but other days i just detach myself from it so that i don't think about her.
if he is hurting because she is hurting and the hurting is caused by my existence... then letting him go because he is too previous is the only way to go.
YOU'RE AMAZING AND I BELIEVE I LOVE YOU. BUT I'M NOT WAITING FOREVER. SO IF YOU WANT ME IN YOUR LIFE, TELL ME PLEASE BEFORE I GIVE UP ON YOU AND MOVE ON.
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